Shark movies is a subgenre of film that I quite enjoy. Jason Statham has a unique screen presence and is an actor whose work gives me great joy, ever since he blew me away in Snatch. The idea of the British action star battling the largest shark that the planet has ever seen had me beyond thrilled when that first The Meg trailer landed.
Then… I saw it.
All the big screen charisma in the world could not save this lazy excuse for a thrill ride.
Statham stars as Jonas Taylor, a deep-sea rescue expert who is among the best in his field. Our film commences with an event that will scar him deeply and result in the deaths of two of his best friends.
Fast forward several years and he is found drunk on a beach in Thailand and there are folks who need him… ASAP. For starters, his ex-wife Lori (Jessica McNamee) and two colleagues are trapped deeper undersea than anyone has ever explored, much less needed rescue. Then, there’s the fact that what has them fighting for life mirrors the mysterious monster that Jonas insists caused the accident that haunts him.
Turns out, that creature that he swears hammered his rescue ship and the submarine that needed his aide has returned. Dismissed as crazy after the opening-the-movie rescue, Statham wears that experience with the most grudged shoulder one can possess. It also ruined Jonas’ career. Now that history is repeating itself—not to mention the involvement of his ex-wife as part of this rescue scenario—Jonas accepts Cliff Curtis’ Mac and Winston Chao’s Zhang offer to return to the water for the first time in years.
Zhang runs an oceanic research facility that is among the top in the world in the south Pacific. The envelope-pushing facility is underwritten by billionaire Morris (Rainn Wilson), who just happens to be visiting his pet project as all hell is going down. As Statham commences his first rescue attempt—it all comes hauntingly back to him what he is dealing with…and then we see it. It is a Megalodon.
There’s this whole “scientific” explanation as to why the ginormous shark even exists and why it’s managed to stay “hidden” all these millions of years. But, the reasons are scientifically flimsy, even for the movies where disposition of disbelief is the norm. The point is that it is alive. It is very real, and it is now heading top-side where it can feast on legions of unsuspecting souls.
Thrills should ensue, and they do on occasion. Mostly, The Meg is on the boring side of the excitement spectrum. Given the fact that you have a shark that can split a massive whale in two without breaking a sweat and a landscape of souls to serve almost like plankton for it to inhale should add up to a cinematic ticking time bomb of the highest order. Yet, that is not the case in the least.
Director Jon Turteltaub (National Treasure) strings together a series of potential thrilling moments in a manner that has us not even slightly caring as to the end game of all involved. Perhaps the blame should lie on the shoulders of the screenwriters—Dean Georgaris, Jon Hoeber and Erich Hoeber. Their patchwork of a picture fails in the all-important effort of developing characters. Yes, even in a mindless action movie, we have to have some sort of connection to those souls put in peril on the big screen.
Yet, as the action plods through and those characters do things that never remotely seem authentic, it just takes the audience right out of these should-be-jaw-dropping moments and instead replaces it with a virtual shrug of the shoulders.
Yes, there are a few scenes that are insanely intense. Statham is always at the center of those rare thrilling moments. If The Meg has any kind of adrenaline rush for the audience, is largely due to his innate screen gift. As we have seen so many occasions throughout Hollywood’s history, a movie cannot be a one-person endeavor. And it’s not like he is going at it alone—the film has a top-tier supporting cast.
Curtis is always awesome, and this effort is no different. We believe that he and Jonas go way back, and it is achieved simply through the thespian talents of the two men. It certainly is not from the script or direction they were given. Bingbing Li’s Suyin is an extremely intelligent and highly qualified ocean scientist. She does her best to show us that fact, something that is never fully developed in the script. Suyin also has some cute chemistry with Statham as the two could be a potential item, romantically. Yet, all of that gets washed away in the murkiness of the waters that run through this disappointing marriage of Statham vs. Shark that should have had as powerful fireworks as get shot off each Independence Day.
What is encouraging, as a Statham fan, is that his acting chops continue to develop so that he can elevate the material he is given on a film such as The Meg. He doesn’t just kick ass in this one, something that shows how far he’s come. He manages to put on a decent display of his classic wry sense of humor that offers up a few laughs (that are much needed) while the audience wades through the mundane.
Wilson tackles a role that is thankless as it is written. Yet, The Office veteran shows some dramatic depth and it’s a fascinating experience. He’s not here to provide laughs and in fact is the driver of drama in much of the film. Now, that too is a hinderance as no one ever accused Wilson of being a heavyweight in the emotive expression department.
If that is your highlight, then your film is clearly in trouble.
The Meg should have been a late-summer thrill fest that audiences could curl up with a bucket of popcorn and friends or a loved one, whose hand could be squeezed during those thrilling moments that only cinema can provide. Instead, prepare to have your mind wander to shopping lists, what the kids are going to have to do this week or even worse—go over the most pedantic of thoughts such as, “boy, that shark’s teeth are really crooked.”
Audiences should not be consumed with the dental hygiene of the largest sea predator in history and should instead be worrying about whose future will be drastically cut short due to those choppers.
Grade: D+