In the horror genre, the key to success in any cinematic endeavor is two things: Knowing your audience and not taking yourself too seriously. It is the horror films that have the most fun WITH its viewers that are by far the most entertaining to experience. That is certainly the case with VampyrZ on a Boat.
The entire film is truly the vision of filmmaker Mark Allen Michaels, who wrote and directed the movie. The flick’s timing is impeccable. Halloween is right around the corner! Michaels’ vision comes to life and never strays from its opening cadence, which is a very good thing in this case. Every actor, thanks to their talents and Michaels’ direction, knows not only the tone, but the ensemble keenly has also bought into and extraordinarily extols the auteur’s concept.
As Vampyrz on a Boat commences, Del (Curt Lambert) is convincing Max (Dallas Valdez) to join him on a well-paid, but shrouded in secrecy, sea-born journey aboard a medical research ship. It is there that he meets Sara (Carrie Keagan), and the sparks immediately fly between these two and it is their heartfelt connection that drives the beats of Michaels’ fangy landscape.
Yes, the “medical research” that is being done involves someone or something that may or may not have lived for centuries. They might also enjoy the occasional gulp of human blood and aren’t big fans of sunlight. Meanwhile, Max and Sara have embodied the classic concept of love at first sight and that is proven over the course of their supernatural entangling. This boat will not only be filled with VampyrZ, but a hero may just emerge to turn the tide.
Immediately, folks will be reminded of another horror-centric film that had people trapped with a killer with fangs who didn’t discern who it targeted on a mode of transportation. Snakes on a Plane is an easy comparison. Whereas the Samuel L. Jackson starring reptilian aviation thriller was more camp than anything else, really, VampyrZ on a Boat actually more convincingly utilizes the vehicle for transporting people from point A to point Z.
Michaels has a fascinating mind. The idea that a vampire would be loose on a ship in the middle of the ocean is both horrifying and a blast. There’s nowhere to go for your protagonists. Also, what’s spookier than an invisible antagonist? Oh, and one more thing. Before the film even marks the end of the first act, that toothy terror has expanded his power. Any horror fan worth their salt knows that you can die from a vampire, or… you can become one—it’s up to the cursed soul.
Valdez and Keagan are terrific together, with the latter the polar opposite of the damsel in distress and the former is not your usual leading man. Yet, here were are, vamps a vamping, and the audience could not be more invested in the story. Will they make it to shore? Can Max and Del figure out a way to survive this and where does that put Sara?
How Vampyrz on a Boat leaves you depends on the viewer, as does any art. Even though there was horror occurring onscreen, what never disappeared during the film was the smile on my face. It was fun. It keenly knew what it wanted to do and most importantly, and so rare these days—it accomplished it.
Grade: A-